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Open Plan is Over the Hill

  • 8 years ago

Open Plan is Over the Hill

Open plan living was the home trend of the noughties – everyone wanted a nice Victorian or pre-war semi-detached with the rooms knocked through to create that oh-so modern, oh-so light and airy communal living space… Homeowners can cook while talking to guests, keep an eye on children and pets from all corners of that one big room, ideal, eh?

Well, airy schmairy. Open plan is so over now, and here’s why.

Those small children won’t be small forever and you won’t have to watch their every move for ever. You won’t want to watch their every move once they hit ten or so… Or listen to their awful tinny TV shows and music on their tablets.

You don’t want them watching your every move, either. That sneaky biscuit? Forget it. That private phone call? It’s not.

You’ll constantly be tidying in an open plan home – there’s no option to shut the door on a messy room, or to leave the kitchen festering for just another precious half-hour of Nordic noir. It’s all on display, just as much as you are.

The TV room is the kitchen is the dining room is the study. Nah – this is every kind of hell. Jean Paul Sartre had this nailed in No Exit.

You know that moment when you stroll into work singing the theme from “The Day My Butt Went Psycho”, including the kazoo effects? That’s thanks to open plan living, that.

Remember Sartre’s 1944 play No Exit, mentioned up above? Hell is other people and all that? Google it if you don’t know it, then imagine the in-laws thrown in. Let that sink in for a minute.

Of course a big room for communal activities is great, but everyone needs a bolthole so they can pursue their own interests, listen to their own music and watch their own garbage without driving everyone else to distraction.

Let’s hear it for the wall!



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